Weird Crap People Put in Their Yards (Besides Gnomes)

I don’t have to remind you that the ultimate lawn decoration is, of course, a gnome. Gnomes and lawns have a long history, rooted in rich tradition and plenty of weird freaking people.

However, from time to time, I must recognize that people put things in their yards other than gnomes. Shrubberies, for instance. Maybe a hydrangea. And sometimes nude Barbie dolls.

While trolling (pun intended) the Interweb today, I came across an obscure piece from a human guest blogger that we’ve featured from time to time. She found a magical place called Barbie Beach, where naked Barbie dolls get to live out their days playing volleyball, jumping on trampolines, and serving their country at war.

Read Nude Barbies in the Front Yard? Only in Georgia.

barbiebeach Fall 2009

In true serendipitous fashion, I also stumbled upon this gem today:

AT-AT

Fallen AT-AT – Photo credit: Andrew Liszewski

It’s called a Fallen AT-AT, which I guess is a Star Wars/Trek thing.

If you prefer crying robots to cheerful little gnomes, this lil’ guy is your destiny! Pick him up on Think Geek for $40.

What other weird crap have you been seeing in people’s yards lately? Post a pic to our Facebook page!

It is my position to support each and every lawn decoration out there…as long as there’s a gnome somewhere in the mix too. Here’s to weird lawns…EVERYWHERE!

XOXO,
Humps, the Landscape Architect Gnome

Meet Shirley Gnome: A Raunchy Canadian Comedy Performer with an Awesome Name

Anyone who has the last name “Gnome” is A-OK in my book.

I randomly encountered someone who can only be described as my dream girl. Her name is Shirley Gnome and she’s completely and wonderfully inappropriate.

sg

To get what I’m talking about, watch her music video for “Old Man.”

Shirley Gnome is a “self-styled white trash burlesque and comedy performer. Singing her special brand of dirty, crass, and absurd ‘cuntry’ music, Shirley belts out original tunes about the embarrassing, hilarious, and titillating adventures that happen when bodies collide.”

I have yet to hear her sing much about real gnomes, but honestly, I’m a little nervous about what she’d sing anyway.

She’s become pretty popular around Vancouver and scored $20 grand for winning the People Champ of Comedy Competition in 2012 Grand Prize Winner. She’s also been nominated for a 2014 Canadian Comedy Award for Best Variety Act. Right on, m’lady!

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Photo credit: Alex Waterhouse

“If you fancy a wild evening of sexually fueled country rock, then get yourself along to see Shirley Gnome,” proclaimed an Edinburgh Fringe review.

Anyway, I love discovering gnome musicians of all sorts and thought I’d enlighten you about my new obsession today.

Tootaloo gnomies!

xoxo,
Lennon the Gnome

Did your ex-lover leave you with a broken gnome? Send him to London!

I don’t know about the rest of you gnomes, but I’ve gone through my fair share of heartbreaks breakups over the years.

This means that I’ve been stuck with a house full of painful reminders of love lost – jewelry, photo albums, teddy bears, and (gasp) even underwear. Well apparently now, there’s a place for all these unwanted and unloved things.

The Museum of Broken Relationships is the creation of Croatian ex-lovers Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišić. This travelling exhibition will open on 28th June at the Southbank Centre in London and run until August 31st.

And apparently, this sorry excuse for a garden gnome is among the museum’s exhibits:

museum

Photo credit: Daily Mail

Mannequin hands, dreadlocks, and an ax are also on display. What a marvelous idea!

So what’s driving you crazy to look at and provide constant reminders about “what might have been?” I’m starting up a collection to send over to London this weekend, so hit me up!

xoxo,
Roxy the Heartbroken Gnome

1930s Gnomes Take Over Rock City

Okay has anybody been to Rock City?

It’s around Chattanooga, Tennessee, and although we gnomes have passed through the area a couple times, we still haven’t’ had a chance to visit.

The oldest one of us living around The Gnome Abode was born in about 1970. But Fips has got nothing on the Rock City gnomes.

Photo credit: See Mid TN (Brent) via Flickr

Photo credit: See Mid TN (Brent) via Flickr

Rock City is a big amusement-type attraction, but what we really care about seeing is the trail with all the gnomes living along it. Some of those gnomes have been greeting visitors since the 1930s, so obviously they’ve grown a little tattered and torn over the years.

“They fit perfectly with Rock City because we are trying to make this a place where you can stop and appreciate what you don’t always get to because we are always on cell phones and don’t see our surroundings,” longtime employee Joy Giles told News Channel 9.

A dude named Matt Dutton is to thank for keeping all these ancient gnomes in tip-top shape. He looks at old photos to keep the gnomes’ coloring consistent and paints and repairs them as needed. Matt uses urethane resin and a hardner to fills his handmade molds, meanwhile restoring each little one’s unique personality.

smt2

Photo credit: See Mid TN (Brent) via Flickr

“They  become little sculptures, little pieces of art and if people understand that maybe they will have more appreciation of what they are looking at,” Dutton said. “This isn’t just a gnome, it’s a handmade gnome here in Chattanooga.”

Looks like we found ourselves another reason to head back down to Tennessee!

Happy Friday gnomies!

xoxo,
Caesar the Gnome

PS – for more great photos of the Rock City gnomes, check out SeeMidTN.com!

Stop Whatever You’re Doing and Watch this 3-Minute Gnome Video

gnomeclinic

Paying for television is for schmucks. And we gnomes are NOT schmucks.

While doing a lil’ flip-a-roo on the ole’ telly last night, I could hardly believe what appeared before my eyes. I caught the tail-end of a mini-segment about a garden gnome clinic for injured gnomes in Germany.

And then with the blink of an eye, it was over! Drat! Double drat!

But like the skillful lil’ researchers we are, we tracked down this magical mini-segment and stalked it like a Dateline NBC special on Friday night.

(You know, the ones that make you feel less like a loser when you’re cradling your bottle of $2.89 Aldi wine on the couch. Because at least you weren’t kidnapped, right? RIGHT?!)

NBC is free too!

Ok but back to the gnome show…

The station is called DW and the show is called Germany Today. The blip about the gnome doctor is only about 3 1/2 minutes long, but it is truly wonderful. Some of us need to schedule an appointment with this gnome doctor and others of us are crafty enough to steal this idea and become gnome doctors ourselves!

Oh wait, that’s what I’m supposed to be doing, isn’t it? Dr. A. Chu, MD at your service!

Well if you didn’t already click on the video link at the top of this rambling post, click on this link and learn about this delightful German woman.

The Garden Gnome Clinic – Germany Today

My favorite part is when they take the biggun’s out for a ride in the car and strap on their seat belts. Safety first, gnomies! Otherwise, to the gnome doc you go!

Be well,
Dr. A. Chu, MD